Culture, Marriage, and Water

Gustavo
Grodnitzky
April 20, 2021
2015-07-21

In Culture Trumps Everything, I define organizational culture as the environment in which we live and work, including beliefs, behavioral rules, traditions, and rituals that bind us together. If you remove the first clause (the environment in which we live and work), the remainder of the definition is culture writ large. Beliefs are the way we see the world; behavioral rules are the rules that govern our behavior; traditions and rituals are things we do repeatedly. With this in mind…

The world’s largest democracy and second most populous country is India with 1.3 billion people (China is the world’s most populous country with 1.4 billion people). India has a long history that support many beliefs behavioral rules, traditions, and rituals.

In the Hindu tradition marriage is monogamous. In India, monogamy is not only part of tradition, it is law. Polygamy is illegal in India unless you are Muslim. Yet when culture requires certain behaviors to be a full member of society, people will indeed break the law to follow the cultural behavioral rules.

I read an interesting article this past week that illustrates this point: India's "Water Wives."

Denganmal is a little village in India's western Maharashtra state. The village populations is about 500 people. It is the type of place where everyone in the village knows everyone else in the village.

Sakharam Bhagat lives in Denganmal. He is Hindu, where by tradition and law, he may only have one wife. However, Sakharam has three wives. His second and third wives are referred to as “water wives.”

Denganmal is a village without water. So Sakharam’s first wife, Tuki, is responsible for caring for their children. His second and third wives, Saakhri and Bhaggi respectively, are responsible for getting water.

This means that every day, both Saakhri and Bhaggi walk to a well or a river, carrying vessels to fill up with water. They leave home at sunrise carrying empty vessels on their head. They walk through fields, up and down the hilly terrain, to a river where they fetch water. It can take up to 12 hours to go there and return home. It is a very hard life and there is a clear hierarchy in their plural marriage. Why would two women subject themselves to this type of life? Why would they become a man’s second and third wife?

The answer is culture.

India also has a cultural norm that women need to be married to have a certain status in society. Women who are single or widowed do not achieve that minimal status. Saakhri and Bhaggi are both widows. By marrying again, they are able to regain their married status in society. In many parts of rural India where culture and traditions run deep, women are ostracized if they are not married, even if it is because their husbands died. They aren't allowed to participate in religious functions or festivals and in some cases, aren't permitted to eat with the rest of the family. By marrying Sakharam, Saakhri and Bhaggi have avoided that fate.

When a culture defines certain members of society as “less than” or “not worthy,” those members of society may comply… for a while. But the human spirit and a drive for equality can not be long oppressed. Successful cultures and countries in the future will make the most of all of its citizens.

We have seen this in the United States through history and today. Historically, black people, since the time of slavery (and some would argue still today) live in a culture that allows for parts of our society to see them as “less than” or “not worthy.” Evidence lies in the recent events from racially motivated killings in Charleston, SC, to recent KKK rallies to defend the Confederate Flag. Black people are an integral part of our society and culture.

Women have long been oppressed both inside and outside the United States. Many have struggled to get an education, obtain the right to vote, and are subjected to violence and rape. Here in the US, many women are still fighting for equal pay for equal work. Yet women are an integral part of our society and culture.

In 2004, gay marriage was used in the presidential election to drive up the social conservative vote. Today, gay marriage is the law of the land. This shift has happened in such a short period of time because of demographic shifts as well as changing beliefs of the Millennial generation. People from the LGBT community are an integral part of our society and culture.

To paraphrase Martin Luther King, Jr., the arc of history bends towards equality. As human beings, we are more than 99.9% genetically the same. The differences we see in one another, in this country and across this planet, come from less than .1% of biological differences. The differences we see are indeed cultural differences.

Let’s build a culture with institutions that focus on our similarities. Let’s build a culture with institutions that focus on our primary human drives to connect and belong. Let’s build a culture where every person is valued, regardless of anything we can identify as “different.” If we can celebrate our similarities, if we can learn to appreciate our qualities as people who are all trying to live a better life, then we will surely see less oppression, less violence, and far fewer Saakhris and Bhaggis in the world.

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